I got tickled last night at my Bible class.  I’m doing a Beth Moore study called “Breaking Free.”  Wow, is it good.  I’m really enjoying it.

Beth quoted 1 Corinthians 16:12 that tells of Paul “strongly urging” Apollos to go somewhere, and Apollos being “quite unwilling” to do so, but that he would go when he had the opportunity.  The girls and I at Bible class were really having fun with that.  We were talking really about some issues of codependency going on in our lives, and every time someone brought up something they felt pressured to do by someone else, but didn’t want to, someone else would chime in and say “tell them you’re ‘quite unwilling.’”

It sounds easy, doesn’t it?  To just say in a completely pleasant voice that you just straight-up don’t want to take on a new project, or whatever it might be.  Some folks don’t take no for an answer that easily, right?  I bet Apollos had to say no more than once to Paul.  But what if we just kept reactivity out of it, and calmly and simply kept reiterating that we were “quite unwilling” to do it?  I think even the most persistent recruiter would eventually get the hint.

Try it out next time someone asks you to do something you don’t want to or can’t do.  Maintain a good tone, and be very pleasant and matter of fact.  You’ll be taking care of yourself in a healthy way without being unpleasant or ungraceful to others.

See ya next time you are quite willing to look me up!

Nancy Eisenman, MSW, LSW is an individual, marital, and family therapist. She specializes in couples and marriage counseling, individual counseling, group and family counseling. Nancy serves the surrounding areas of Carmel, Westfield, Zionsville, Fishers, and Noblesville. E-Counseling available for residents of Indiana.

©2010, Nancy Eisenman