“What do you want to be when you grow up?”, a common question we are all asked at some point in our lives. From a grocery store cashier, to therapist, there were quite a few moments in between that shaped the idea of “what I want to be” into “who I want to be”.
I grew up in a small town in Indiana known for two major operations: The Casket Company and HillRom. One makes caskets, and the other makes hospital beds….either a very ironic happenstance or someone was very strategic in planning where these two companies landed! I have two brothers and am a middle child. I used to pray for a sister and then I realized if I had a sister I would have to share my clothes and closet with her, so I immediately retracted that prayer and replaced it with, “Thank you, God, for giving me brothers so I don’t have to share my closet, clothes, or bedroom”. Ah, the selfish mind of a young child. I also attribute some of my strong independence to what shaped my introverted tendencies. Boy do I love to spend a day off just snuggling with my blankets watching whatever crime tv series or whatever home improvement show is on, and rest is just as productive to me as working. I am also a coffee lover at heart. I thank my grandma for opening my eyes to the world of caffeine and for my parents who agreed it was okay that I drink coffee at age five. You all were the real heroes of my future success in college. It was great growing up in a small town and being in a tight knit community opened the door for me in several other areas of my life, especially who I became.
As with anyone, my life has had its setbacks in the midst of what I would consider the most pinnacle years of my life (and I’m only 24!). The things that mattered when I was 15 vs. 24 are dramatically different just as the things that happen when you are 40 vs. 65 are considerably different. Change is inevitable and once I realized this, my attitude toward change and experiencing adversity drastically transformed my understanding of my purpose in life. I was able to accept change when it arrived at my doorstep and establish inner peace when I relinquished my control over every circumstance in my life. Being a type A personality (perfectionist and someone who is often confrontational), this took some getting used to.
Where it began…..
“Alaina will be playing a song on piano with her brother as he plays saxophone”, I heard these words as an eight-year-old and was ready to perform! I proudly walked up to the piano with my music memorized and waited for my brother to signal he was ready. I gave an intro, and he began to play…except he was playing a different song than I was. We exchanged several looks back and forth of confusion and panic. It was then that I realized I was playing the song that we just sang as a congregation in church instead of the song we had rehearsed. The curses of having an ear for music and playing the last thing you heard in your head. I cried on the way back to the seat covering my face out of pure embarrassment. My parents comforted me, but I was still sad. I was sad because I knew I was capable of playing the piece well and everyone else saw the one moment that I “failed”. Just like change, I learned early that failure is also a frequent flyer in our lives, but my attitude toward failure was what enabled me to continue playing piano and go on to become a Music Therapist who majored in piano at a collegiate level performing many classical pieces from memory in front of numerous professional musicians. Was I terrified? Absolutely! Did I mess up notes? Absolutely! In fact, I left off a whole page of music during my senior recital performance because my human memory went blank. But no matter what, I promised myself to always perform at my best, even if my best was only 20 percent, and even if my best included mistakes because that was the best I could give in that moment. My 20 percent became my 100 percent, and no one could take that mindset away from me.
I finished my Bachelor’s of Music in Music Therapy and was granted the opportunity to intern at Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri. I absolutely loved spending my days sharing the gift of music with children and adolescents who were admitted into the hospital. I witnessed firsthand the power of music and how it is able to speak to others in ways that I would have never dreamed. Through this internship, I gained my love for families and relationships, but I knew I was only scratching the surface with what I felt led to do with my life. Having been exposed to many families in the hospital and only being able to spend a limited amount of time with them in what was almost always the “hardest thing they had ever been through”, I realized I wanted to be able to offer more support and groups or an outlet for families and couples who were experiencing a life changing event. This was what sparked my passion for what I do today as a marriage and family intern. While continuing my masters, my desire grows to expand my knowledge and skills to come alongside those who are experiencing what may be “the hardest thing they have ever gone through”.
Thank you for taking the time to learn more about me, I hope you were able to see more personal attributes and aspirations I have in the field of counseling and therapy. I’d be happy to share more about myself or get the opportunity to meet you as well. If you are in need of support, counseling, or resources, feel free to reach out to me via email at alaina.halbur@gmail.com or contact our office listed on our website peacecounselinggroup.com.