I have another quote today that spoke to me, and I just wanted to say a couple of quick words about it.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”

                                                                   – Anais Nin

Here’s another quote that has truth to it.  That’s pretty much what it takes, after all, to have one of your quotes remembered as a quote, like this one…make sure it has truth in it.  If you want to have your words immortalized, you have to make sure they have a deep wisdom to which others can relate.  Some are better than others, and as far as recovery issues go, this is a pretty good one.

All of us have a filter, or lens, through which we see everything.  We encounter every and all manner of things and run it through the filter of our “truths”.  I find that to be a very valuable part of therapy….to have the same criteria/experience etc. run through the filter of someone else who is unbiased and unemotional about it.  Then the therapist can tell us the shade and shape of our filter.  It shows us where the actual truth of the situation is tainted by our filters (i.e. wounds, triangles, enmeshment, cutoff, and more.)  Then if we view our reactions, and compare and contrast how they are unlike a dispassionate reaction to the exact same things, we can begin to understand ourselves.  That is where the journey to healthy change begins.

It is wise to remember that we all have filters tinted and shaped by our experiences.  These filters are necessary to learn and grow from experience, but they can cast an unfavorable (and sometimes an unhealthily favorable) view on things that are not really the way they might seem…the way they really are.  If someone gives you feedback about how you are seeing something differently, pay attention.  They are telling you something about yourself that can give you a sensitivity to a blind or blurry spot in your vision, and draw you a map to a wound that needs healing.  They are also, of course, giving you insight into the shape of their filters, from which you can also learn…and maybe someday find yourself a truth that will get you a famous quote!

That’s it for today…I’m on vacation!  Have a good week.

Nancy Eisenman, MSW, LSW is an individual, marital, and family therapist. She specializes in couples and marriage counseling, individual counseling, group and family counseling. Nancy serves the surrounding areas of Carmel, Westfield, Zionsville, Fishers, and Noblesville. E-Counseling available for residents of Indiana.

©2010, Nancy Eisenman